March 7, 2017
Six months ago I would have told you my ideal situation involved acres of land and gardens, sheep and ducks, home cooking and hand knitting... true homesteading. My mind has been turning over this ideal life for a long time, yet I have struggled over the years (!) to make significant progress in that direction. My motivation button must be broken, I thought. The other mothers do so much! I must just be lazy. Try harder!
Obviously that hasn't worked out for me either.
Quite a bit of that ideal life doesn't really work for any of us. The fantasy homestead simply doesn't account for our real life needs and the practical realities of raising a family in the here and now. The vision is disconnected from reality. My mind has been pulled in two directions. My energy was divided. I am mentally exhausted from trying to find the perfect solution. In reality, there isn't one. The rural homesteading lifestyle simply will not work for our family...
...and that's okay.
It has taken me a while to get here. Part of this process of living seems to be learning to accept our limitations. Maybe this is what growth looks like. Maybe some day it will lead to wisdom.
For now I settle for bringing a bit of the fantasy down into my suburban reality. Hand knit hats and home baked bread? Yes, please.