February 25, 2017


Well, hello!  Where have I been?  Is it really nearly March?  The bulbs seem to think we are well into spring now.  The trees are budding, a bit early it seems to me.  This winter has been so strange.

Thanks to a badly pulled oblique, there has been a lot more thinking in my life than doing.  The few times I have thought to pop on, I found myself with nothing much I wanted to say.  Sometimes, I even questioning why I am doing this in the first place...but I know:  community, camaraderie, and even loneliness.

Since Cynar started his new job, the question has popped up again and again if we might consider moving.  Most of our friends and family live closer to his work, and it isn't far from his in-season Dagorhir practice and our church.  All of our frequented places are about twenty miles from our current home, as the crow flies, closer to thirty by road.  We sometimes feel so isolated here.  The idea of being closer to our people is tempting.

...and I have to admit, I have let my mind wander, in this frustrating time of rest, to empty-nesting days spent planting flowers, baking bread and knitting hats.  Hosting a monthly book club?  How about having a friend over for an afternoon coffee and chat?  Maybe dinner and a movie? A younger me might have thought it boring, but now it sounds like a perfectly pleasant way to spend the days...among friends.

It would mean letting go of any delusions that I might someday have that rural farmhouse with sheep and goats and ducks.  But really, that hesitation has always been there.  Could we really live even further from our tribe?  Maybe a younger me...the one with no roots, no really familial connections, could do it, but now?  I have community now.  Family.  It is something I have had to grow into...being a part of a family, understanding what a home is supposed to be.  As much as that independent younger me might not want to admit it, I need people.  I might even like them.  :)

So I'm not really sure what it all means for us down the road.  What I do know is that my hat yarn finally arrived today.  And the kitchen is in dire need of a scrub down before we make bread on Tuesday.  Beyond that?  I see good things.

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