January 15, 2017

10 of Cups

"...the Ten of Cups is a card of happy families and deep love and respect for all..."

In some ways this Sunday was unremarkable.  Another cold winter day; an early morning and time spent with Cynar's family.  A simple lunch with loved ones, full of lively conversation.  A sleepy afternoon for relaxing at home, with no worries.  An evening of light work, preparing for the start of a new week.

This is where things got a little different.  Though today was a fairly ordinary Sunday, our Monday will be unique.  Cynar is starting his new job tomorrow.  The first of many early mornings getting him off to work, and then beginning our school day, just Astrid and I.  It may seem very mundane, but it is special in that it is our first day playing our parts as a traditional nuclear family.... dad off to work, mom at home with the kid(s).

This is not a place I ever imagined to find myself.  Nor did I ever really want to find myself here.  As a child of the 90's, my ears rung with the good news that I could be anything I wanted (!!), and I couldn't understand why anyone would want to just be a stay-at-home mom.  Who in their right mind would want to spent their whole day cleaning and chasing after screaming, snot-covered germ factories?!  No, thank you.

But now, finding myself on the threshold, looking out over what lies ahead, I can see that it is so much more than that.  It is so much more complicated than that...a convoluted maze of give and take.  I support him so that he can support me.  Yet another paradox.  It is simultaneously selfish and selfless.  The best things in life seem to be this way.  Sometimes life sends you the thing you didn't know you were looking for.

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